Dec
31
Many people know her as a Saint, as one of the most profoundly generous and loving people in all of history. She’s been awarded many peace prizes and honors for her supposed humanitarian work. (She’s now in the company of people like Ghandi, and …Al Gore.) This doesn’t surprise me though, people have been misinterpreting her “holier than thou” attitude for love and kindness for many years. You can’t tell me she didn’t do it for fame. Every time she walked into the barren streets of a third world country people worshipped her. People gathered at her feet and flocked to see her as I’m sure she made certain all the cameras were watching while she fed a starving child. How can people be so blind? So gullible? I’m going to let you in on a little secret. She’s NOT a Saint (she won’t be for another several years!) and she has been deceiving people on this point for a long time.
She was a part of an organization that has lead to innumerable amounts of death and destruction. (Crusades anyone?) It’s an organization that was made rich by selling licenses to heaven, indubitably pirated from the Man Upstairs. She is a hypocrite and a liar, no one has ever fooled the world into believing such a ridiculous scheme as hers. Her name should bring fear and anger to the hearts of everyone who hears it. Her name is…Mother Theresa.
She’s not what you think. I have taken some quotes from Mother Theresa to explain exactly what I mean:
“Everybody today seems to be…terrible…”
She seems to be a very negative person. Her glass is obviously half empty when it comes to faith in humanity. She seems to think that she is somehow better than everyone else, because she does some charity work.
“Be faithful…in…your…lies.”
What does this teach our children?
“I do not pray…”
She’s a hypocrite. She’s telling us in one breath that she’s an overly pious Christian and then the next breath, she doesn’t pray.
“in…children … begins the disruption of peace of the world.”
This is what happens when you teach children lessons like “being faithful in your lies”, Mother Theresa. (By the way, you can’t be a Nun and a Mother at the same time!…… So deceiving.)
“…decide that a child must die…”
This is just disturbing.
“I am a little pencil…”
What?! She’s obviously insane.. or strung out on drugs. Rumor has it she was a drug addict.
“I know God … trust me…”
That’s a cocky statement if I ever read one.
“No, I wouldn’t touch a leper for a thousand pounds…”
That’s what I thought.
“If we want … to be heard…we have to keep …oil…”
She often got her hands dirty in politics. I heard she drove a Hummer.
Conclusion:
This article is completely fact-based. I quoted her from real quotes and everything I said is either fact or personal opinion.
But barely anything I said was true.
We see everyday the advertisements and articles written from a certain slant about public figures; we see it so often now about presidential candidates.
I used many of the techniques that biased writers use all the time. I took quotes completely out of context, I said things like. “Rumor has it”, just to enter the idea into your head, no matter how ridiculous it could seem from a rational point of view. I also gave many “feely opinions” and used pessimistic diction to set the tone of the whole thing. I’d just like to prove that no matter how many “facts” are in something, it doesn’t mean it’s truth. Everyone writes for their own agenda. Anyone can be made to look like a hero or a criminal. Even Mother Theresa, who is probably one of the most beautifully, altruistic human beings to ever walk the planet, can be made to look like scum of the earth.
God Bless You, Mother Theresa.
Dec
09
Ticketmaster, the world’s leading ticket company, came up with a great idea. They’ll sell tickets online to most concerts, shows, and sporting events around the world in exchange for a few dollars…and then a few more. They’ve done it well too. I wouldn’t want to do business anywhere else, it’s just SO convenient. Log on, enter credit card number, print. Done. The problem is that they are convenient and they know it. It’s like a pretty girl who knows she’s pretty so she flauntingly wears that miniskirt around (even in the winter) and won’t ever give you the time of day. I hate Ticketmaster the same way I hate those girls.
Unlike girls, Ticketmaster will give you the time of day… for an excessive fee (perhaps some girls operate similarly). I recently bought a ticket to a concert from Ticketmaster, as I had done several times before. I had never realized, though, how much extra was added onto the bill by the time you’re done. I should say, they are not small fees. These fees are up to 1/3 of the cost of the ticket, and there are multiple fees.
1. A convenience charge of $8.15. What is that? I have been wondering for several weeks now, who is this fee “convenient” to?…not me.
If it’s a convenience charge because it was convenient for me to log on and buy a ticket rather than go wait in line at the concert, this makes sense. However, it loses logic when you realize that the whole reason for existence of Ticketmaster is to sell tickets online. Are they saying that they charge me extra just because they exist? That’s pretty conceited, Ticketmaster, pretty conceited. I feel like charging them a fee because I exist. Having customers is pretty “convenient” to a company, wouldn’t you agree? In fact, I might go so far to say that since Ticketmaster charges me because it exists… and Ticketmaster exists because customers like me exist…then, I conclude, Ticketmaster is charging me for my own existence! (This is the most thought I’ve ever given to $8.15.)
2. I see that there is a $1.50 “Building Facility Charge” added to the full ticket price AND the “Convenience Charge”. This is weird to me because if I were to have bought my ticket at the door of the concert, there would be no fee to use the building. The only conclusion I can make of that, is that somewhere between my apartment and the arena is a building that I am being charged for using, but I don’t know which one it is. And apparently I will still need to pay it even if I avoid using every building on the way, because I was not given a choice in paying for the “Building Facility Charge”.
3. It’s nice to know you have the option to pay $2.50 for your own paper and ink used towards printing out your ticket.
4. The heading at the top of the browser says that this is the “Ticketmaster Shipping” page. There is some irony in this, because even though I paid $9.65 worth of fees for my ticket on this page, I NEVER HAD IT SHIPPED!
Dec
05
Old men don’t talk about the weather anymore. They talk about the price of gas. Old women don’t talk about how cold it’s getting and how their arthritis is acting up anymore either. They talk about how ridiculous the price of gas is. It’s true; the price of gas is high. It’s as true as the winter and the cold.
People talking about gas doesn’t bother me too much though; we all know it’s high, but we also know the weather is cold. It’s good small talk. What bothers me is when people get upset about the oil companies making so much money. People get so upset veins exaggerate every wrinkle in their head as they explain a conspiracy against us; how the oil company’s are “stealing from the American people”. “They know we need it, that’s why the prices are so high!”
Stop, people, stop.
I’m tired.
I’m tired of doing the research.
I’m tired of doing the research FOR people.
Does anyone know what percentage the oil company’s make on a gallon of gas?
Does anyone care?…or do we just want someone to blame because the price of gas is inconvenient to us? (If that’s the case, I will suggest clicking the red “X” in the upper right hand corner of your screen right now…or for those less fortunate individuals on Macs you should click that cheap looking red jewel in the upper left hand corner of your screen.)
Gas companies make 3% profit on the gas that is sold.
Yup, 3%.
If gas is $3.45/gallon than the gas companies make $0.10 on the gallon
So if they made no profit gas would be still VERY high at $3.35.
That doesn’t sounds like a conspiracy to me.
Most of your money is actually going to taxes anyway.
And if you’re that angry about it, stop buying it. You can’t.
We’re the ones who have become completely reliant on it. We’re lucky it’s not $10 a gallon. I mean, they’re just doing business, just like any other company. They are out to make a profit. That is the purpose of a business. Am I wrong?
By the way, do you have any idea the profit margin of pharmaceutical companies’ sales?
26%
That’s 8.67 times more than oil companies.
Granted no one said prescription drugs were cheap but relatively speaking it’s not even close..
From now on for every minute of whining about gas prices being the fault of gas companies 8 minutes and 40 seconds of whining about prescriptions must precede. This will be very effective in eliminating the constant whining I hear about oil companies because by the time you get a minute in, no one will be listening.
Whining for 9 minutes and 40 seconds is a great way to lose friends.
Dec
02
What is rssHugger?
rssHugger is a new website developed to help bloggers promote their blogs, and to help visitors discover new blogs that write about subjects that the readers are interested in. Through the power of the internet and viral marketing, rssHugger looks to bring blog writers and blog readers closer together. If you own a blog, you can get your own page on rssHugger for 10 years for giving an honest review of the site on your blog. If you want to join rssHugger but do not want to review our site, you can pay a one time review fee of $20. rssHugger will be the first ever quality, spam free, and viral rss directory strictly for bloggers.
Looks like a good site, so I’m jumping on the site while it’s still young. Only 222 feeds submitted so far.
Nov
26
Dane Cook has somehow become a successful comedian. Mostly with college age kids, who drink too much, but successful all the same. I don’t really want to bash him for being a moron, since he was probably born that way. I would like to, however, bash him for being a loud, arrogant moron. I don’t understand what draws people to him. His formula for jokes is simple. Random subject + Obnoxious voice + F-word = Laughter (Which I think is how the acronym “ROFL” was formed….but I’m not certain.) Dane Cook has figured out that if it doesn’t equal laughter you must repeat formula until it does, eventually someone will get so bored they will laugh, and then they will tell their friends to laugh too.
In my effort to find the reason why people think he’s funny, I did what any good researcher would do; go to his website. When I arrived at his website, I saw no signs of him actually being a comedian. I heard a song in the background, but it didn’t appear to have any jokes in it, so I continued my search. After about 10 min of unsuccessfully finding a joke (or even something that resembled one) I thought to myself “Well, maybe I was mistaken, maybe he isn’t a comedian afterall. This would explain why he’s not funny. Maybe I shouldn’t be writing this.” Then I saw the link to his Myspace page, which is listed under “Comedy”.
I figured I must be in the right place. The song that was playing when I first arrived had now turned into a “DANEcast” which was just updates about upcoming things, and still without any sort of humor. I decided that it would be easy to prove that Dane Cook is not funny because Dane Cook is a comedian with no jokes.
Is Dane Cook Funny?
Which of these three photos did you not instantly laugh at? That’s what I thought.
Snot bubbles are obviously funnier than Dane Cook.
Snot bubbles have and will always be… funny. Dane Cook has and will always be… the opposite. I can prove it with statistics below.
Snot bubbles are really funny, but they get less funny with age. The older the person with the snot bubble is, the less funny it is. See below:
I think it would be safe to conclude that a person listening to Dane Cook is as funny as Dane Cook telling jokes, when that person is blowing a snot bubble. Since no one below the age of 15 and no one above the age of 40 listen to Dane Cook, you will see that this is true according to the graph above. Try it out. Do you or someone you know listen to Dane Cook? Look up their age on the graph above and see how funny Dane Cook really is.
I would also like to mention that Dane Cook, who we’ve already proven to be completely and totally unfunny, made about $9 million last year. This is all money wasted. Snot bubbles are not only funnier than Dane Cook, they are also more cost efficient. See graph below:
In conclusion, Dane Cook is a moron, who makes lots of money undeservingly, because he’s comedian who isn’t funny. And snot bubbles continue to get the raw end of the deal.Links to pictures I stole:
http://flickr.com/photos/njhdiver/329509049/
http://flickr.com/photos/michael_m/56454068/
Nov
23
Thoughts regarding Thanksgiving:
Thanksgiving seems to be the time of year that we all give thanks for the things that we spend most of the year complaining about.
Give thanks. Do atheists celebrate Thanksgiving? They better not. I’m sick and tired of atheists acting like they’re so sophisticated and advanced. Their too good for religion all year until the religious holiday season rolls around. Then they take part as if they are sneaking under the radar.
“I didn’t know you were the religious type.”
“Uh… well… I like food and gifts.”
“Oh………………ok.”
They should make a movie called Holiday Crashers where a couple atheists go take part in religious holidays.
Of course that would be boring because half of the country does that.
I wish atheists believed in something so they could have a holiday that I could crash.
Oh yeah, and I swear if I hear any more people discount the legitimacy of Thanksgiving because of the white’s kicking the Indians (Sitting bull Indians, not Dell support Indians) off their land, I’m going to distribute viruses accordingly.
That’s just stupid, the first thanksgiving was about giving thanks (to God) for the harvest that the natives helped plant.
I don’t understand the Native thing anyway. Every Country in the world was taken over by somebody and I think we’re the only people who give the losers free college.
This is dumb, I’m sick of typing about this.
Nov
13
Pacifism is one of the greatest and one of the worst ideas in all of history.
It’s one of the greatest ideas because world peace is something we all would love to have. Every superficial, blonde beauty queen ever to walk the earth would tell you that. (It doesn’t take a brain surgeon.) No violence about race, religion, politics, domestic disputes, etc. would just be plain nice. Our newscast would be about as long a commercial. We could cut down our 5 o’clock news down to about 4 min. We could just watch the news during the break of our favorite sitcom. I’d rather just watch the sports, weather and a story on the world’s biggest cookie anyway, than see war and shootings every day.
Pacifism is also one of the worst ideas in all of history. Let me set something straight first, when I talk about pacifism, I am talking of the strictest kind. Strict pacifism opposes the use of any kind of force under any circumstances. I am not talking about a person who decides that one fight or one war is not worth fighting, because sometimes those come about and it’s our right to agree or not agree with something that important. I would also say that we should choose our fights and battles very carefully because where there’s violence, lives are changed.
The problem with pacifism is that it’s not only idealistic, it’s naïve. When one becomes a pacifist, he has the idea that “If everyone just did what I am doing, there would be no wars.”, which is true, but not logical. The only way pacifism works is if everyone does it. If some people decide to be violent they end up looting, raping and murdering all of the pacifists, because they can’t defend themselves. There’s nothing they can do. If pacifism only works if everyone does it, then it won’t work, and if it doesn’t work, than it’s stupid to practice it. There is not one voluntary thing that we humans do, that everybody does (or everybody doesn’t do). Anorexia proves it. If we can’t get everyone in the world to eat, something that’s pleasurable and fulfilling to most people, something that we instinctively do to survive, than how can we possibly get everyone to be peaceful, which is something that is often against our human instincts?
** A NEW CHALLENGE ARISES* “There is not one voluntary thing that we humans do, that everybody does (or everybody doesn’t do).” Is there?*
